Bradley Smith, MD
Softening the Heart of an Amputee
But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies” (Lamentations 3:32).
The tension of being on call after a long day escalated as my phone rang. The caller flatly stated, “Please hold for Dr. Solis.”
The emergency physician’s story dashed my hope of having a quiet evening. I listened as Dr. Solis cataloged the facts and timeline of this unfortunate case: Serena was 23 years old, the daughter of a nurse and the mother of a three-year-old child. Serena was no longer able to parent her son because of a heroin addiction. She now had a deep bone infection in her ankle that caused severe pain and threatened her life.
Dr. Solis explained that one of my colleagues had operated on her recently and that the surgery hadn’t gone well. Furthermore, she had transferred to our hospital from another county because of dissatisfaction with her care team at the other hospital. Now all of this was my problem.
I introduced myself. Serena was not at all what I expected. She was young and looked like most college-aged students. I withheld judgment as we talked about the events that brought her to need my services. Her history, diagnostic tests and exam all made it clear there was only one thing I could do to help — amputate — but at what level?
Slowly, as I processed her age, appearance and situation, the disdain I felt gave way to compassion. She could have been my granddaughter. How could this young lady who seemed so normal have gotten into so much trouble?
Whatever the reason it wouldn’t change her situation now. But asking about it might help establish better rapport. Perhaps somehow, someway this daughter of God could be healed of more than her infection.
We discussed her surgery and the challenges of healing, phantom pains, living life as an amputee and finding safety and stability in the chaos sure to follow. So far she had felt only anger. Now, a deep flood of grief poured out. I offered the option of amputating her foot at the ankle. It is rare that we can amputate at this level because most of the time it won’t heal, and the heel pad doesn’t scar into a stable position. However, her youth and the location of her infection made this an option, which would allow for more limb length and more normal walking.
The surgery, as expected, was difficult and took even longer than I thought. I wondered, why am I doing this procedure when something more routine would be quicker?
I hadn’t treated a heroin addict yet who had overcome their addiction. Many had returned in need of further surgery. Later, and not infrequently, I would hear that one had died. Why try when she’s likely to need a repeat surgery? But hope whispered, What if? Just what if?
Post-operative recovery was rocky. Controlling her pain was difficult, as anticipated.
One evening, I paused outside her door and pleaded with God for her freedom. I brought a Bible and wrote a personal note inside the cover. Her room was always depressingly dark. She had been clean for six months after a rehab stay that was faith-based.
We talked about that success. I asked her what factors had contributed to her brief liberty from drugs and also what led to her relapse. We talked about her life while using and what it was like when she was clean. As we talked about her motivation to be drug free, I explained how her experience, so full of suffering and despair could be a stanchion of hope to other struggling captives if she herself was set free.
She welcomed praying together, and we both sobbed and wept as we pleaded for victory. What power! What conviction! What promise! “What manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God…”
I saw Serena twice after that and then I lost track of her progress. About one year later she showed up on my schedule. Praise God! She was no longer addicted to heroin. She was now spending time with her son and expected to recover custody in the next few months. What rejoicing, gratefulness and what an escalation in faith I experienced in seeing how our loving Father had accomplished her release!
Though her life is still full of spectacular struggles, she is finding resiliency, poise and the ability to stand with knees bent as she lives to bless others and share her story, a trophy of the Father’s love.
Reflecting on Serena’s story, I ponder, What factors made her successful when so many fail? How can I help more people overcome as Serena did?
And personally, what can I learn from her story in my struggle with doubt, skepticism, impatience, anger, and self-righteousness?
Could we as a community find compassion for each other somewhere beyond impatience, judgment, and labels? Instead of condemning, what if we encouraged each other, confessing our faults and praying for one another, that we might be healed? Could we love each other into wellness even as we are loved by our Savior?
There once was a community of strugglers who gathered together to do this kind of activity. Flames soon followed and that little community quickly grew and the early church was born. This can happen again. And when it does, the earth will be lightened with His glory (Revelation 18:1).
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