Melinda Skau, MD
More Than A Band-Aid
Medical missionary work entails more than a bandaid fix. Sometimes the deepest hurts are missed in a routine history, physical exam or scan. But discovering and treating these often overlooked wounds is necessary for restoration.
One day, I was seeing a patient for multiple sclerosis. During the history and examination, the patient exhibited a hostile attitude and answered questions in a clipped manner.
“I hear anger in your voice,” I observed.
She snapped back, “I’m NOT ANGRY!”
I listened without judgment as our conversation continued. She told of painful childhood experiences that had affected her deeply. Allowing her to admit an emotional need brought that need into a therapeutic space in my exam room. We prayed together for her physical and spiritual healing.
Later, she thanked me for addressing not only her physical disease, but also her anger.
Through unique experiences I had as a child, God has given me a heart of compassion for those suffering from internal wounds.
In my early years I experienced trauma and loss with a father who used alcohol and women to escape the pain of his own emotional wounds. I was also subjected to traumatic assaults growing up in a gang-infested area near Los Angeles. My parents divorced when I was four years old. Later my father attempted suicide. My mother took a fatal overdose of barbiturates when I was 17. God graciously tucked these traumas away for me until it was time to process them after successfully navigating medical school, residency, marriage and the birth of my first child.
My path to deeper healing began unexpectedly one day in 1988 while jogging to the Diet Center — I was intent on losing the last 17 pounds of the 70 I had gained during a stressful pregnancy. As I was running, a couple of guys wolf-whistled at me from their red truck as they drove by. Unexpectedly, I collapsed, sobbing inconsolably. What was going on? Why was I crying?
In that moment it dawned on me that the extra weight I had been carrying was an unconscious protection from sexual assault. Now that the excess weight was mostly gone, I felt vulnerable.
The 1100 calorie-a-day Diet Center program did not include my favorite high carb, high fat comfort foods. I was learning a new way to live, and thus began a healing journey where God permitted many unrecognized traumas of my past to surface in dreams and memories over a nine month period. I journaled and read books such as Door of Hope by Jan Frank and Ministry of Healing by Ellen White and found truths from Scripture to be especially comforting.
Sacred music also played a crucial role in my healing.
My own life experience has proven to be an excellent reference for understanding my patients who have had multiple Adverse Childhood Events (ACES).
Recently I met a patient who had many anxieties and poor health. We partnered together to understand the impact of trauma on her physical and mental health. She felt resentful toward those who had hurt her and others who did not protect her. Now we are seeking for answers and healing in the Bible and another very helpful resource, Treasures Out of Trauma by Arlene Hendriks. My patient is learning to know God as the Healer of her troubled emotions.
I’ve found that the following steps are helpful in the process of healing from loss or trauma:
Step 1: Allow ourselves to grieve.
Step 2: Fill our minds with Bible truth.
Step 3: Recognize that Satan is a liar who came to steal, kill and destroy, but for this purpose the Son of God was manifested that He might dismantle and destroy the works of the devil. (1 John 3:8)
Step 4: Search Scripture for promises that define who we are in Christ. I am precious in His sight. He rejoices over me with singing. He loves me with an everlasting love.
Step 5: Consider that as a lump of coal becomes a diamond under extreme pressure, so the crucible of life’s trauma burns the impurities from our characters as we recognize His presence and suffering with us in the fiery trial.
Step 6: Acknowledge that God’s timing is not ours. A thousand years is as a day! Think of Joseph in prison, John the Baptist awaiting his beheading and Job suffering through his losses. Someday they and we will see from God’s perspective.
Step 7: Remember God will never leave us or forsake us. If He permits a trauma, He will be with us as we walk through it.
Another vivid example of God using tragedy for His glory unfolded as two of my patients with severe spinal injuries were seen by a non-Christian surgeon. This unbelieving doctor expressed shock by their cheerful attitudes and remarkable physical progress. He deemed one his “best patient ever” and asked her to be a voice to encourage future spinal surgery patients.
Regarding the second patient, the doctor exclaimed, “This return of function is medically impossible!”
These two patients and I are praying for this physician who is constrained to acknowledge the results of the powerful healing effect of their faith.
So this is our mission. Not a bandaid but a joining together with our patients to seek God’s healing — body and soul — through His presence, His Word and His healing methods.
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